MY CHRISTMAS COMEDY TEAMS

As this will be my last blog before Christmas, I could, of course, harp on about the World Cup voting fiasco - but I won’t. It’s probably all been said already and I wrote an article a fortnight ago about the clear dislike for England at FIFA. It’s no surprise..

In addition, I could talk about Chris Hughton’s sacking at Newcastle. But similar to the events in Zurich last Thursday, it was, once again, all so predictable. It is only really the timing of the decision that I find a little odd.

So, instead of the usual rant, I’ve decided to create four alternative line up’s of players, both from the current eras and the past. This idea (for those who care) was, in fact, brought on by some drunken discussions with my friends over the weekend.

Judging by the teams, you will soon realise the hair colour of one of those friends’. And his team acted as a catalyst for the other three I have created. Look what happens once you get started…

All four of the sides' will contain a 4-4-2 formation and include a captain. In addition, there will be five substitutes, a manager and an assistant manager.

Naturally, some sides are easier to select than others, and the players are decided upon by a mixture of prowess on the pitch and also the ability to appropriately fit into the correct criteria.


To begin with then, here is my all time best ' FOLLICLY CHALLENGED ELEVEN ‘

Bruce Grobbelaar (Zimbabwe)
Geremi (Cameroon)
Alan Wright (England)
Jaap Stam (Netherlands)
Frank Lebeouf (France)
Zinadine Zidane (France)
Bobby Charlton (England)
Gary McAllister (Scotland)
Attilio Lombardo (Italy)
Wayne Rooney (England)
Gianluca Vialli (Italy) (c)

SUBS:
Esteban Cambiasso (Argentina)
Yordan Letchkov (Bulgaria)
Pepe Reina (Spain)
Jan Koeller (Czech Republic)
Claude Makelele (France)

Manager: Arrigo Sacchi (Italy)
Assistant: Rafael Benitez (Spain) .


AESTHETICALLY CHALLENGED ELEVEN (Remember it's just for fun!)

Steve Ogrizovic (England)
Andy O’Brien (Ireland)
Phillip Neville (England) (c)
Trevor Peake (England)
Trifon Ivanov (Bulgaria)
Luke Chadwick (England)
Thomas Graveson (Denmark)
Nobby Stiles (England)
Franck Ribery (France)
Iain Dowie (Northern Ireland)
Peter Beardsley (England)

SUBS:
Oliver Kahn (Germany)
Paul Merson (England)
Sasa Curcic (Serbia)
Gennaro Gattuso (Italy)
Dirk Kuyt (Netherlands)

NB… It’s a great quality bench isn’t it?

Manager: Steve Bruce (England)
Assistant: Phil Thompson (England)


AESTHETICALLY BLESSED ELEVEN
Victor Baia (Portugal)
Glen Johnson (England)
Paolo Maldini (Italy) (c)
Alessandro Nesta (Italy)
Robert Ayala (Argentina)
David Beckham (England)
Leonardo (Brazil)
Jamie Redknapp (England)
Patrik Berger (Czech Republic)
Thierry Henry (England)
Fernando Torres (Spain)

SUBS:
Andy Carroll (England)
Marcel Desailly (France)
Dimitar Berbatov (Bulgaria)
David James (England)
Freddie Ljungberg (Sweden)

Manager: Jose Mourinho (Portugal)
Assistant: Roberto Mancini (Italy)


BEST EVER GINGER ELEVEN

Steven Pears (England)
Steve Nicol (Scotland)
John Arne Riise (Norway)
Mark Wright (England)
Alexi Lalas (USA)
Alan Ball (England)
Paul Scholes (England)
Nicky Butt (England)
Gordon Strachan (Scotland) (c)
John Hartson (Wales)
David Fairclough (England)

SUBS:
Gary Doherty (Ireland)
Mark Pembridge (Wales)
Mikael Forssell (Finland)
Perry Groves (England)
Andy Campbell (England)

Manager: Neil Lennon (Northern Ireland)
Assistant: Steve Staunton (Ireland)